Depths of Friendship
by denise1
Summary: Sam and Teal'c plumb the depths of their friendship


Depths of Friendship

By

Denise

I can feel her body quaking in my arms as her hot tears soak my shoulder. She clings to me, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. Her hair is damp and I can smell the sweet aroma of her shampoo upon her flesh.

She mourns and I mourn with her. It has been nearly a month since O'Neill has vanished and I fear that he shall not be found and returned to us, that we shall now be two instead of four. This is the day I have always known would come, yet a day I have also dreaded for nearly as long.

In the past few years I have grown most fond of my Tau'ri friends.

O'Neill displayed a rare trust six years ago in Apophis' dungeon when he asked for and accepted my help, then granted me refuge, returning my trust ten-fold. He has become like a brother to me.

Daniel Jackson was a friend that eventually forgave me my past and my role in destroying his life.

Major Carter has always treated me with respect even if she was a bit wary of my presence in the beginning. She was the first among the Tau'ri to show me the wonders of her planet, exhibiting endless patience as I sought to learn about my new home. She would speak to me about her experiences with Jolinar, something I know that she did not do with O'Neill or Daniel Jackson.

I have watched her grow and mature, blossoming from a capable woman to a formidable warrior.

As she has changed, my feelings for her have changed. Where I first felt respect, I now feel more. I care for her and I care what happens to her.

This is why, when O'Neill first disappeared, I found myself more concerned about her than him.

O'Neill is a most competent warrior and a man well versed in caring for himself, even when hampered by the company of Harry Maybourne.

Major Carter, however, for all her intelligence and abilities, is a very sensitive person on the inside. She often feels things more keenly, feelings she tries to hide, perhaps from the belief that, even after all this time, we will think less of her. If only she knew how wrong she was.

Her tears finally cease and she pulls away, sniffling as she uses her sleeve to wipe her face. Her body is tense and I can tell that she is shamed by her show of emotion. Her attire suggests that she was preparing to leave the mountain and go home…to a cold and empty house, her only company her dark thoughts. She does not need that now.

"Come," I say, getting to my feet.

"What?"

"Come," I repeat, bending down to retrieve her bag.

"Teal'c--"

I ignore her protest, opening the door to the hall and standing aside. She sighs, and then walks forward, stepping out into the hall. I walk, leaving her no choice but to follow. "Where are we going?" she asks as we arrive at the elevator.

"You require rest," I say as the door opens and we step into the car.

"I was going home."

"It is late and you are fatigued," I tell her as the doors close. I am aware that she has not slept much in the past month, her guilt driving her to push herself to solve the riddle and locate O'Neill and Maybourne. "Perhaps sleep will clear your mind." She follows me and I do not know if it is because she agrees with me or because she simply lacks the will to protest further.

We exit the elevator and I lead her to my quarters. Once there, I set down her bag as she sits on the bed. "Sleep," I tell her.

Much to my relief, she declines to argue, simply bending over with a sigh and unlacing her shoes as I light my candles. She takes off her jacket and lies down on the bed, pulling up the covers.

I sit on the floor and prepare to meditate. For several minutes it is quiet in the room, the only sounds those of the ventilation system, the candles and our breathing.

I hear her breath catch and I know that she is not asleep. When I again hear the quiet sound of her tears, I regain my feet and walk over to the bed, sitting beside her. "He's dead isn't he?" she whispers.

"O'Neill is merely missing," I tell her.

"It's been a month, Teal'c," she says, still staring across the room. "If he's not on the planet, where could he be?"

"If there is a way to return, O'Neill will find it," I reassure her, and myself.

"If he's still alive," she insists, set in her morbid thoughts.

"O'Neill has exhibited a remarkable tenacity for survival."

"He needs it," she says bitterly.

"Major Carter?"

"I'm starting to think I'm cursed," she confesses.

"Of what do you speak?"

"Everybody I ever...care for dies," she says simply. Knowing that she will take little comfort in words, I simply sit beside her. After a few minutes she moves, pushing herself up to prop her back against the wall. "With my mom it just...happened. Then Jonas, Martouf, Narim, Orlin...Daniel. I can't remember how many times I've gone to Hammond's office and given him a set of dog tags." She sighs. "Sometimes I wonder if I should start wearing a cape and carrying a scythe."

"After my mother and I fled to Chulak, I made friends among the other children of the camp. We grew up together, played together. When it came time to receive our first primta, one of them, Teson, was judged not worthy. He died soon after. Many more followed. Frotak was the last of my childhood friends," I tell her, still remembering the aching sting of betrayal and loss I felt with each death.

The Tau'ri view life as a gift, something to be cherished and treasured. Among Jaffa, life is service and duty and I have known more than I'll ever remember that have sacrificed their lives upon the whims of a false god.

"Does it ever get any easier?" she asks softly.

"Only for those whose hearts grow cold," I tell her. She doesn't say anything but simply moves, tucking herself into my side. I reach out and lay my arm over her shoulders taking as much comfort in her presence as I think she does in mine. She has a fear that she does not give voice; it is something else that I share with her, a fear that one of us will survive. One of us will live long enough to bury every one of our friends. That the day will come when we are not four, not three, not two, but one. That one of us will survive and will be given the burden of being the last and lonely survivor of an endless war. "Major Carter…"

"Don't," she interrupts. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

I do as she requests, keeping my peace and letting the silence of the room surround us, forming a barrier between us and the rest of the world. I feel her body relax and calm as sleep overtakes her. I slip into kelnoreem grateful that, for the time at least, I am not alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I walk down the corridor not surprised to see Major Carter leaning against the wall outside the infirmary. One leg is raised and her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see her frowning slightly as she tries to eavesdrop on the conversation going on in the room.

"Major Carter," I acknowledge as I join her.

"Look, Doc, the Tok'ra fixed my leg. See? Nothing wrong with it," I hear O'Neill say loudly.

"And since when have you just blindly trusted them?" the doctor fires back.

"Doc—"

"Drop your pants, colonel. Or I'm going to do it for you," she threatens.

I hear a sound and look over to see Major Carter's hand over her mouth as she struggles to smother laughter. "O'Neill is well?" I ask rhetorically, the sheer volume and tone of the man's voice attesting to his physical wellness at least.

She nods. "Although he might not be that way once Janet is through with him." She sighs. "Other than his leg, which Jalen healed, it's just cuts and bruises," she reports. "Unless she finds something, she's going to send him home…she just hasn't told him that yet."

"And Colonel Maybourne?"

"The colonel says he has no idea where Jalen took him and I'm not sure that I care…as long as the planet doesn't have a stargate and bears a passing resemblance to hell," she says, her voice bitter and cold. I can tell she is still stinging from her perceived error in allowing the outcast officer to overpower her and escape over a month ago. Both General Hammond and I have assured her that we hold her in no less esteem, however I also know that not even absolution from O'Neill will assuage her guilt.

"Damn, Doc, couldn't you rub your hands together or something." O'Neill's voice again carries out into the hallway.

"So it appears that you were wrong," I say.

"What? Oh," she says, looking down as she realizes my meaning. "Yeah. Yeah, I was."

"You're free to go, colonel," I hear Doctor Fraiser say as she pulls back the curtains. I look around the threshold and see O'Neill sitting on one of the beds, raising his eyebrows in surprise as he buttons his shirts.

"Really?"

"I'll run the lab work to make sure you haven't picked up a parasite or something, but I see no reason to keep you here. Unless you WANT to stay," she says.

"No. No offense, Doc. And I'm certainly happy to see you and all but…"

"Go home, colonel," she laughs. "Relax, sleep, eat," she instructs. "Don't hesitate to call me if you don't feel good, but enjoy civilization."

I watch O'Neill hop off the bed, his enthusiasm and happiness to be home overriding the exhaustion I saw on the man's face when he'd returned through the gate several hours ago. I stand back as Major Carter straightens, pushing herself away from the wall. O'Neill walks out into the hall, stopping in surprise as he sees us. "Kids, what's up?"

"O'Neill. Major Carter was seeking my counsel," I say.

"I was?"

"She was?"

"She was uncertain if you would wish to drive yourself home or if you would prefer to be driven," I say, sensing that both of them require some time alone, to speak and to 'clear the air' as O'Neill is fond of saying.

"Really?"

"Sure, sir. If you want a ride that is," she agrees, frowning at me.

"Well, yeah, but I'm sure you have better things to do," he says.

"I was also going to inquire if you desired Jonas Quinn and I to join you, to brief you upon recent events," I say, interrupting them.

"That would be cool," he agrees. "I got a month's worth of gossip to catch up on."

"We can hit a grocery store, sir," Major Carter suggests. "I'm sure there's nothing edible in your fridge."

"Unless you want ketchup soup."

"Jonas would eat that," she says.

"My point exactly." O'Neill looks at his watch. "Say two hours, T?" he asks. I nod and step aside, allowing them to pass. "So, Carter, please tell me someone taped the Simpson's," I hear him say as they walk down the hall.

I watch them go, then turn, making my way to Jonas Quinn's quarters to tell him of the evening's plans.

In my century of life, I have witnessed many friends fight and die, changing from comrades to memories in an instant. Again, against all odds, SG-1 is again reunited, as reunited as is possible, and I take comfort in the fact that my dark fear of singularity has been delayed for another day.

Fin


End file.
